Imagine you are in a relationship! If you are in your 40s or 50s, your story will be very simple and cute. A guy meets his dream girl in college, class or through a mutual friend. He falls in love after meeting the girl for a few times. Obviously it’s the 80s, so there are very few means of contact. The guy can only see the girl when in college or speak with her when they are in a group. Any kind of personal interaction inside the college premises would draw attention. Hence, the guy has to make sure if the girl is actually interested in him before making his move. He has to catch the signs that she is giving him. She on the other hand is waiting for him to ask, shy enough not to express her feelings. After missing countless signs and catching a few, the guy finally gathers the courage to make a proposal. But that too can’t be made publicly, because of the fear of rejection! So he puts a small note and a rose in her bag when they are climbing down the stairs without anyone else noticing it. He gives her a hint that when she goes back home, she has to be alone before opening her bag! She asks him why? He denies her an explanation and speeds off on his Yamaha. She keeps looking at his fading image and turns back to go home, eagerly waiting to see what’s in her bag!

She opens her bag as soon as she is in her room. She has to throw out her annoying little sister. And with a tingling sensation in her tummy she opens her bag. Inside, her heart knows what the contents are going to be, and is pumping with all it’s pace making the girl restless. She knows, but she still reconfirms by reading the letter till the very last word. She even finds the rose, half broken because of the pressure of her books. She somehow knows what her answer is going to be; but is still unsure. So after a few weeks (months in some cases, even years :O) of denying and keeping distance, she finally accepts the proposal. These kinds of news spread with lightning speed even back then, so by the time their relationship is few weeks old, most of the college knows about it. As established earlier in the story, they don’t have any other means of contact except for the time that they are together. They can’t talk on the phone because even normal landlines were rare in those days, so all they could do was pass letters or chits during class and decide their next date or meeting spot for the weekend. Back in those days, there were no boyfriends or girlfriends. A couple had to be genuine enough to be ready to get married when the time came. So one fine day the guy shares his desire to get married and proposes the girl for marriage. The girl is half expecting this scenario and starts crying because of sheer happiness that she is going to be married to the love of her life!

The next big task is to convince their parents. In the 80s the most common reason for denying marriage was the caste. It wasn’t that love marriages were not allowed. But they were not common. For the convenience of our story, let’s say both of them belong to the same caste! Still it takes countless attempts and discussions with their respective parents and relatives, for them to finally get a green signal to get married. They get married in presence of their loved ones and live happily ever after! Or things turn ugly, they get a divorce and still continue to survive in the painful memories of the once happy life! They could choose to vent out their depression and anger by burning the love letters and photos or just throwing them away! Or they could cherish the moments and keep the belongings hidden! Simple enough? Doesn’t it sound like a story that many of our parents would have? I’m sure you will find at least one scene from your mom and dad’s love story! It was fun to be a part of an innocent love story, wasn’t it? Now try and imagine the same story in today’s time.

A guy meets a girl in college or some class. Before the rise of Whatsapp, a guy had to work hard to get a girl’s personal number! I remember my own such awkward encounters. 😛 Now most of the times even this ‘asking the number’ thing is not required! People meet and on the second day they have a dedicated group on Whatsapp!! So numbers get shared automatically even without consent at times. The guy now has got direct entry into her life. The letters and chits get replaced by pings and missed calls during the class. They don’t even have to meet to know each other better. All of this ‘meeting without being seen in public thing’ is avoided as they are comfortable chatting online. Easy entry, easy settling in. Then at some point they realize they are liking each other. The girls are not shy anymore unlike our 80s story girls and they don’t hide their feelings! So most of the times, there are no proposals now. There are confessions from both the sides and before they know it, they are committed! It is so stupid though, when people propose online! It’s okay if you talk on the phone. At least you can listen to the voice! But Whatsapp or Facebook? I mean how lazy can people really be to propose or dump their partners through Whatsapp or Facebook! I mean seriously what the hell is wrong? Of course there are stories where two people from different countries or even continents meet online, fall in love and get married! Those will be seen as Legends of the online world and their names will be written in Large fonts in bold italics!

So once the proposal is accepted, or the feelings are confessed, there is this obsession to post their relationship online! My real problem with today’s love stories is here. I feel love is a personal thing. I won’t say that there shouldn’t be PDA! Holding hands and hugging in public is fine because that makes a relationship stronger. If you overdo it though, then it’s exhibitionism! Facebook is like modern town crier, who made public announcements back in the days when people were illiterate! In Marathi the term “Davandi” is used for such announcements! If you are popular enough in your social life, and so is your partner among her/his friends and your combined friend list goes above the 1000 members mark, you can easily get 250+ likes and 150+ comments when you post, “XYZ got into a relationship with ABC!! -feeling loved 😀 :*.” Most of the comments will be liked by the newly formed couple and there will be replies ranging from “TYSM :)” to “ILYYYY tooo muuaahh :* :* :*” depending on how close you are with the person who made the comment! And this will just be the beginning of countless such statuses and photos!

Moreover there is this senseless need or urge to blow kisses and draw hearts in the comments below every photo or status which is shared by respective partners, tag their partners even in random pictures, just so they know that they are being ‘missed,’ or spam the partner’s wall just so the world can see how much LOVE they have! I miss those times when love was personal! I’m not questioning their love! But I’d would appreciate if it was not so public. In times when there was no Facebook, people still used to exhibit their love by writing each other’s’ names and drawing a heart around it. We have seen many such examples of modern art on trees or fort walls before! These kind of people are still there among us, but thankfully the walls now are virtual! And thus it is proved again, that love is blind! and it can make you do anything, even if it is completely stupid! All this Facebook timeline, archived Whatsapp conversations, letters or picture collages stored online to avoid being seen by the family, it’s all like The Matrix. It’s there, but only temporary! If seen from a third eye, you are just plugged into a wall, or staring at an illuminated slate trying to make sense, trying to be cool by sharing pictures on Instagram with 1000 hashtags which don’t even relate to your image! #Its #so #annoying’ #when #each #word #is #turned #into #a #hashtag #which #is #a #failed #attempt #to #make #it #look #cooler! & dnt evn gt m strtd on da mrdr f englsh lngage dat tks plc evryday!! I hate these guys!

Now if the couple was to break up one day, imagine how painful it would be when they scroll down their own timeline and find all these old posts! Couples generally stuff their souvenirs (like the first movie tickets, the first hand made greetings, a small key chain with their initials printed on it, or just random things which remind them of each other) in a box and hide the box deep inside their cupboard. Imagine if one day you broke up, came back home trying to hide your tears from your parents, went running into your room only to find all those physical proofs of your love taken out and hung on the walls, or tied to a string from the ceiling! How miserable would you feel!? That’s exactly how it might feel when you revisit the timeline! It’s as if your ex keeps appearing in front of you every now and then when a past photo of you or an old post is liked by someone who doesn’t know that you aren’t seeing each other anymore. Because as the announcements of love are made publicly, rarely we see a post about a split, because that is personal, isn’t it? It will be so difficult to see an old Instagram picture of you with ex with a hashtag under it reading #true #love #forever! Does this ‘Forever’ come with an expiry date too now? I imagine so!

To conclude and summarize both the stories, I would like to say that in both the scenarios love has not changed. I don’t want to imply that the old school couple’s love was true and more intense than the pair from today’s generation. I don’t have any right to judge people as well. But deep inside I feel that love is the purest of all emotions! And it has to be treated that way! You don’t have to prove to the world that you are in love with someone! You don’t have to keep posting and tagging your partner everyday just to show them how much you value them. If it is true, all these things will be expressed without any efforts! So just be true to your partner and of course yourself!

So this was my first attempt to cook up a story! Before this post, I always took my life as an example and tried to relate things from my point of view! I felt that this was the time to write something new! Of course some of the contents from the later story are inspired from posts which I see on my own news feed. But it’s so common for everyone now that no one can point a finger at me and say that I offended them in any way! I just wanted to give an example which contrasted the previous story! Hence the exaggeration! That’s why it took a lot longer than my earlier posts as well! Now I leave the rating part to you guys! If you read this post till this point, then I’ll feel that I have done a good job! Still do let me know if you liked the story by putting your comments below! 🙂

Wish you a great day ahead! See you soon! 🙂

Abhijeet Jog